Pain and loss can be enough to make you want to give up and just die. It can turn your whole world upside down. It can make you have physical pain so intense you can't breathe. So the question is, what is the purpose of pain and what do you do with it?
Well, I never say there is one right answer for anything... but I can share with you what I know.
I write this while I am going through a time in my life that is causing me severe pain, shame, fear, and it really does feel like my world is falling apart. On top of it all, I went through something similar just three months ago. That time I remember being in so much pain that I really thought I was going to pass out from the physical suffering and the horrible anxiety I was experiencing.
With this situation, I am feeling similar pain and anxiety, but to a lesser degree. You see, last time I allowed my pain and loss to create change in my life for the good. I took back the power I have to create my own destiny and not only worked through the anguish, but created something new with it. My life and relationships changed in amazing ways.
But since then, I have allowed myself to fall back into old patterns and now the Universe is trying to get my attention again. I don't know about you, but it sometimes takes great pain and being almost thrown out of my "world" for me to start paying attention to the Universe's messages. What is the message? Simply that I am allowing myself to go down the wrong path again. Not in the same way I did in my past, but there are ways I was giving away my "power" to fear, to other people, to situations, etc. When you allow yourself to live in a place of fear, control, and negativity, you are creating a reality that is not going to be pleasant or desirable and it is giving away the power that you have to create something wonderful.
So here I am, in a place where I normally would feel terrified and like I want to try and control and even make what happened go away... where I would feel great shame and like I was no longer worthy of living. I felt those things for a couple of hours, and now I am done allowing them to be my dominating thoughts. Am I a horrible person for not being "perfect" and for making mistakes (sometimes big mistakes)? Is my life over now that something undesirable has happened? The only way those two things could be true is if I believed them to be. So here is where I take back my power and say "I am a wonderful and beautiful person. I can do amazing things in my life and in this world and I won't let anything, anyone, or any situation stop me from doing that!" That means I won't let myself get in my own way either!
I am usually the one that will tell myself "I am horrible, I am shameful, I can't do anything,etc." These things become real to me, I believe them and then I have no emotional energy or strength to create and live a happy life. I have pain, I have experienced a lot of trauma in my life that has caused me to have some anger and fear.... but I have worked through SO much of that and grown in amazing ways. So I know I can work through what I am living through right now. I won't hide from it, I won't run from it, I won't pretend it isn't happening, I will embrace the pain lovingly, and then I will release it and move forward in my life.
I think the most courageous thing, and the most difficult thing, you can do in life is to allow your pain to be present and then to work through it and move forward in your life in a healthy and purposeful way. It really is terrifying and like I said, emotional pain manifests physically and can be very intense in your body. I am sure many of you have experienced this as well. It can feel like you are going to die, not just because you want to die (and you may want to) but because the physical pain is so intense that you are not sure how you can possibly live through it. I can understand why some people harden their hearts and stop feeling any emotion because it just feels dangerous and like it isn't worth it.
But I can tell you that if you do the terrifying work of allowing and working through your pain, love and be patient with yourself (and everyone, no matter what they have done, is worthy of their own love!), and then take steps toward moving forward in your life and having purpose, then you WILL grow and change and be happier and healthier for it. The rewards far outweigh the anguish when you actually use the pain constructively.
So if you are feeling great pain in your life as well, I first of all want to say I am sorry for what you are going through and I know it can be terrifying and overwhelming... earth shattering actually. But if you will allow it and you are willing to do the work, you will come out on the other end of this a stronger, happier, more purpose filled and amazing being. This is an opportunity for wonderful change in your life and self. I say this as a reminder to myself as well because we all need the reminder!
Life isn't easy, especially when you are creating a reality for yourself that is not desirable. And we all create our realities through our belief systems, which are mostly subconscious. I am not sure anyone would consciously decide to have a life that is not pleasing. But we do have the power to change what we don't like in our lives by first identifying what our belief systems are, which can take some time and effort, and then seeing what the belief system is creating in our life at which point you can spend time adopting and cultivating new belief systems that support and create the reality you truly desire.
So when undesirable or even pain wrenching situations present themselves in your life, it is a sign that you are going the wrong way, creating something that is not in alignment with your higher purpose and what you truly want for yourself. Allow these times to help you see more clearly. Pay close attention to what is happening to you and really start to figure out why it is happening and how you created it. I know it can seem strange to say you created all of your own circumstances, but the truth is when you understand this it is very empowering because you then can realize you actually have the ability to change and improve anything you are not happy with in your life. If you constantly blame others for what you are experiencing, then you are just allowing yourself to be a victim who has no power over their reality. Do you want that? I don't! I have done it for long enough and I have almost 30 years of experience to show me that it does not create a desirable existence.
My life over the past couple of years has gotten better and better and better. It really is amazing how much I have changed and how happy I often am now. But that does not mean I am perfect and that I don't have my fair share of trauma and pain to work through. I still have a little girl inside me who is often scared and hurt and defensive due to some of my experiences in life. She still needs attention, love, affection, acceptance, and time. She needs time to heal and to see that this new way I am living and thinking and being is so much more desirable than living as the victim, suppressing my pain, hiding away from the world, being angry, and feeling hate and shame for myself. This is how I spent most of my life living, but not anymore. Those habits were so ingrained that I do go back to that sometimes, but the Universe is kind enough to get my attention, as it is doing now, to show me I don't have to live that way anymore. I have found a new way of living, thinking, loving, and being that is far more desirable and creates a much happier and healthier reality for me.
So here I am, feeling lost, feeling pain, feeling anxiety, some shame.... and I am just fine. I am just where I need to be right now. I am going to allow the pain and I am going to breathe through it so that it can move through my body and not get stuffed down and suppressed. I am going to keep telling myself that I am worthy, I am wonderful, I have amazing gifts and love to share with the world and with myself, and that I am going to come out on the other end of this an even happier and more amazing person.
I don't always respond appropriately in painful times. I often respond fearfully and defensively in the moments where I feel I have completely lost control over my life. But that is just me trying to "control" from a place of fear and that is dis-empowering. It creates a reality that is a very unhappy place. I won't be upset with myself for these things, I will just allow myself to learn from them, move on, and love myself even more. I have the power over my life, the choices are mine. I choose to use this as a learning situation so I can feel even better about myself and create an even more awesome reality.
Happiness is my goal. Yes, happiness is an emotion and not always lasting. But this pain makes me appreciate the "happy" even more and I choose to be excited for when I get to feel it again. If pain allows me to fully appreciate happiness, I don't think I could give that up. I actually feel happy and joyful more often than not. However, I spent 28 years never feeling happy. So I find great joy in every happy moment. I patiently await my next one knowing it is just around the corner and I just have to take steps to where it is.
Love to everyone out there who is and has experienced great pain. So, love to you all! Together, we can have our happily and healthfully ever after.
Don't let pain cause you to give up, let it propel you forward.
Much love to you all.
Cortney
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Monday, March 18, 2013
New Video- Welcome to the Healthfully & Happily Ever After World!
Check out my new video that has a brief description of what "Heathfully & Happily Ever After" is all about here at WholeMinded Wellness. I, Cortney A. Budney, CHC, share a little about my philosophy of how I support my clients in creating their dream life.
I share this because many of the blog posts to come will be all about this concept of how to create your own fairytale existence. If this video and subject speak to your soul, then you are in the right place and I encourage you to subscribe so you can get notifications of new posts.
I promise you this blog will be real, vulnerable, I will share with you my journey along with way, and it will be chalk full of information and wisdom. I also encourage your right to be an individual and nothing here is about the "one right answer" for everyone. You need to decide if the content shared is the right answer/path for you.
To learn more about WholeMinded Wellness, visit www.wholemindedwellness.com. We also offer a free 3-week e-course called "Healthfully & Happily Ever After" and you will receive one lesson each week that is based on a fairytale. You will learn things like how to learn from the past but not let it hold you back, how to have a better understanding on what healthful foods actually are, as well as how to become a more whole and self-loving person. If you love fairytales and you love growing as a person, this is the perfect e-course for you!
Sending Health, Happiness, and Abundance Your Way!
Bippity-Boppity-Boo!!!
~Cortney A. Budney, CHC
Fairytale Life & Health Transformation Coach
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Come On, Are Microwaves Safe or Not?!
Hello Happy and Healthfully Ever After World!
I have had a lot of clients asking me about microwave safety lately. If you do your own research, you will find a lot of information stating both that microwaves are safe and that they are dangerous. So what is correct?
Much of the information about microwave safety is not well researched or can be misleading. However, many of the claims of the danger can also be incorrect.
Inevitably, it is up to you to decide what you feel is right.
But remember, if there is a possibility that this way of heating your food could be dangerous, it really is worth the extra time and research.
A couple of things to consider:
1. Does convenience outweigh the importance of nutrient rich food?
2. Food is medicine, it is energy, it is life. Food is science! In its natural state it will provide amazing nutrition for our mind, body, and spirit. But when you change the scientific structure of the food, will it still have the same benefits? For example, pesticide laden fruits and vegetables have a different scientific structure due to the chemicals that have been sprayed on them. So they do not break down in the body the same way and then there is the obvious problem of ingesting all of these unknown chemicals. But organics is a whole separate argument. If you want to read some interesting information about pesticides and toxins in your food, click here.
Personally, I prefer not to take the risk of scientifically altering my food and losing the nutrient value. Other than clean air and water, my body and mind rely on food to keep me alive, healthy, and happy. Therefore, I am just not willing to take the chance of altering the natural scientific structure of my food just so I can have it cooked more quickly. But this is my personal choice. It is time for you to make yours.
Here are great resources for both sides of the argument. Once you have done your research and made the right choice for your family, feel good about it! But remember, always be open minded to learn more when new information is presented. Most importantly, always use your own common sense and trust yourself!
The Hidden Hazards of Microwave Cooking by Anthony Wayne and Lawrence Newell - http://www.health-science.com/microwave_hazards.html
Microwave Ovens Destroy the Nutritional Value of Your Food by Mike Adams - http://www.naturalnews.com/021966.html
Does Plastic In Microwave Post Health Problems? Wall Street Journal - http://www.mindfully.org/Plastic/Microwave-Health-Problems.htm
Is Microwaved Food Dangerous? The Myths and Facts http://ehealthmd.com/content/microwaved-food-dangerous-myths-and-facts#axzz2NK8HoCyf
Do Microwaves Zap Nutrients from Food? http://www.oprah.com/health/The-Truth-about-Eating-Microwaved-Food
Does Microwave Cooking Destroy Nutrients in Vegetables? http://www.nytimes.com/1992/11/17/science/q-a-240892.html
I have had a lot of clients asking me about microwave safety lately. If you do your own research, you will find a lot of information stating both that microwaves are safe and that they are dangerous. So what is correct?
Much of the information about microwave safety is not well researched or can be misleading. However, many of the claims of the danger can also be incorrect.
Inevitably, it is up to you to decide what you feel is right.
But remember, if there is a possibility that this way of heating your food could be dangerous, it really is worth the extra time and research.
A couple of things to consider:
1. Does convenience outweigh the importance of nutrient rich food?
2. Food is medicine, it is energy, it is life. Food is science! In its natural state it will provide amazing nutrition for our mind, body, and spirit. But when you change the scientific structure of the food, will it still have the same benefits? For example, pesticide laden fruits and vegetables have a different scientific structure due to the chemicals that have been sprayed on them. So they do not break down in the body the same way and then there is the obvious problem of ingesting all of these unknown chemicals. But organics is a whole separate argument. If you want to read some interesting information about pesticides and toxins in your food, click here.
Personally, I prefer not to take the risk of scientifically altering my food and losing the nutrient value. Other than clean air and water, my body and mind rely on food to keep me alive, healthy, and happy. Therefore, I am just not willing to take the chance of altering the natural scientific structure of my food just so I can have it cooked more quickly. But this is my personal choice. It is time for you to make yours.
Here are great resources for both sides of the argument. Once you have done your research and made the right choice for your family, feel good about it! But remember, always be open minded to learn more when new information is presented. Most importantly, always use your own common sense and trust yourself!
The Hidden Hazards of Microwave Cooking by Anthony Wayne and Lawrence Newell - http://www.health-science.com/microwave_hazards.html
Microwave Ovens Destroy the Nutritional Value of Your Food by Mike Adams - http://www.naturalnews.com/021966.html
Does Plastic In Microwave Post Health Problems? Wall Street Journal - http://www.mindfully.org/Plastic/Microwave-Health-Problems.htm
Is Microwaved Food Dangerous? The Myths and Facts http://ehealthmd.com/content/microwaved-food-dangerous-myths-and-facts#axzz2NK8HoCyf
Do Microwaves Zap Nutrients from Food? http://www.oprah.com/health/The-Truth-about-Eating-Microwaved-Food
Does Microwave Cooking Destroy Nutrients in Vegetables? http://www.nytimes.com/1992/11/17/science/q-a-240892.html
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Life as Me- A Look Into My Life and Mind
The truth is, I am still getting familiar with this new Cortney. I could not be more different that I was a year ago and definitely than who I was 9 years ago. People who have not seen me for years often do not recognize me. This is not just because I look physically different, but because my whole personality and energy have shifted. I know this seems odd for such a big change in such a short period of time, as most of it has happened in a year, but I can finally pin point the one thing that actually made the biggest difference. But first, let me start from the beginning.
I was fired. Yup, I was fired from my job for taking a day off due to my grandmother's passing. I had never been fired from a job before and this really hurt my ego. Sharing this with you, I notice how different I feel about the whole situation now. But at the time, it was very difficult. I had a cat pass away of a rare and sudden heart condition, my grandmother had passed away, and I was told I was not good enough to stay at my job.
I had been saying for many years that I wanted to start my own business. Maybe personal organizing... but I was only 27 and mostly, I was terrified of everything. I was a scared kid who grew up to be a scared adult. I was too afraid to jump down two steps because what if I got hurt. I had lived my whole life with fear being almost completely in control.
But for some reason, this time in my life was different. It was time for change. So I actually decided to start trying to do professional organizing for people. Of course, this scared me. No, it was paralyzing fear actually. It was also early winter and I was too scared to drive in any kind of yucky weather. But I did it. I found a client about 45 minutes away (and sometimes I had to drive in a bit of snow to get there) and I ventured out to learn how to help people get their homes in better order. I quickly found I really didn't love it much and was not as good at it as I was with my own home or with helping my friends organize.
My client happened to be a Holistic Doctor. I had spent several years doing all kinds of research on holistic nutrition. My client one day said "you know Cortney... you know more about food than I do. You should really go to Institute for Integrative Nutrition and become a Health Coach." I had no idea what this school was and what a Health Coach was... but after I looked into it I got really excited.
A couple of months later I was all enrolled in the school and ready to learn how to be a Health Coach and start my own business. The next year was filled with learning more about who I was and starting a personal journey of growth. I started receiving Reiki energy work and attending spiritual gatherings (not religious, just spiritual). I started doing some inner child work and getting to know more about myself and how to love the deepest most inner parts of my soul.
The most amazing thing I learned and experienced was that I did not love myself. That was the one thing that helped me in my major shift and transition and loving myself enough to take a risk and see what amazing life was waiting for me. I learned that the things you want in your life are there waiting for you! You just can't see them yet, you have not stepped into the space where you are aligned with this new and amazing life. But all you have to do is step into that space that is truly you. Through my journey I was able to understand what it meant to love who I am, who I have been, and who I will be.
Now I am a woman who adores her work, adores herself, and instead of running from things I just run at them full force. I often am still afraid, but I do it anyway. And the rewards have been priceless. I now have the honor of being able to help my clients along on their own personal journeys of beautiful transformation.
I am living the life of my dreams a little more every day. Things that I would have thought impossible have become my every day reality.
I am so happy and so excited to be me! Beautiful, vain, cranky, loving, patient, scared, brave, giving, selfish... and so much more. All of it is perfect, all of it is me... and I honor and love every aspect of who I am and who I was and who I will be.
Would you like to learn more about how to love yourself each day with your food and lifestyle choices? Feel free to get on my website and provide your e-mail address and you will be sent my free 5 Day Rejuvenate your Mind and Body Jumpstart.
I am sending much love your way!
Cortney
www.wholemindedwellness.com
https://twitter.com/WholeMindedWell
I was fired. Yup, I was fired from my job for taking a day off due to my grandmother's passing. I had never been fired from a job before and this really hurt my ego. Sharing this with you, I notice how different I feel about the whole situation now. But at the time, it was very difficult. I had a cat pass away of a rare and sudden heart condition, my grandmother had passed away, and I was told I was not good enough to stay at my job.
I had been saying for many years that I wanted to start my own business. Maybe personal organizing... but I was only 27 and mostly, I was terrified of everything. I was a scared kid who grew up to be a scared adult. I was too afraid to jump down two steps because what if I got hurt. I had lived my whole life with fear being almost completely in control.
But for some reason, this time in my life was different. It was time for change. So I actually decided to start trying to do professional organizing for people. Of course, this scared me. No, it was paralyzing fear actually. It was also early winter and I was too scared to drive in any kind of yucky weather. But I did it. I found a client about 45 minutes away (and sometimes I had to drive in a bit of snow to get there) and I ventured out to learn how to help people get their homes in better order. I quickly found I really didn't love it much and was not as good at it as I was with my own home or with helping my friends organize.
My client happened to be a Holistic Doctor. I had spent several years doing all kinds of research on holistic nutrition. My client one day said "you know Cortney... you know more about food than I do. You should really go to Institute for Integrative Nutrition and become a Health Coach." I had no idea what this school was and what a Health Coach was... but after I looked into it I got really excited.
A couple of months later I was all enrolled in the school and ready to learn how to be a Health Coach and start my own business. The next year was filled with learning more about who I was and starting a personal journey of growth. I started receiving Reiki energy work and attending spiritual gatherings (not religious, just spiritual). I started doing some inner child work and getting to know more about myself and how to love the deepest most inner parts of my soul.
The most amazing thing I learned and experienced was that I did not love myself. That was the one thing that helped me in my major shift and transition and loving myself enough to take a risk and see what amazing life was waiting for me. I learned that the things you want in your life are there waiting for you! You just can't see them yet, you have not stepped into the space where you are aligned with this new and amazing life. But all you have to do is step into that space that is truly you. Through my journey I was able to understand what it meant to love who I am, who I have been, and who I will be.
Now I am a woman who adores her work, adores herself, and instead of running from things I just run at them full force. I often am still afraid, but I do it anyway. And the rewards have been priceless. I now have the honor of being able to help my clients along on their own personal journeys of beautiful transformation.
I am living the life of my dreams a little more every day. Things that I would have thought impossible have become my every day reality.
I am so happy and so excited to be me! Beautiful, vain, cranky, loving, patient, scared, brave, giving, selfish... and so much more. All of it is perfect, all of it is me... and I honor and love every aspect of who I am and who I was and who I will be.
Would you like to learn more about how to love yourself each day with your food and lifestyle choices? Feel free to get on my website and provide your e-mail address and you will be sent my free 5 Day Rejuvenate your Mind and Body Jumpstart.
I am sending much love your way!
Cortney
www.wholemindedwellness.com
https://twitter.com/WholeMindedWell
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